Been M.I.A.

I've missed a couple of Feel Good Fridays since Thanksgiving. I apologize.

I've had posts that I've wanted to post... but I've been busy with work, life, and family.

The biggest thing is that I've mostly been really tired, nauseated, and well... You know... Pregnant. :)

We found out a few weeks ago that I'm "great with child" (that expression has always cracked me up). It seems my due date is sometime around August 6th. I'm not very far along, but I'm far along enough that I'm really feeling like crap.

Constipation, vomiting, tiredness... Let me tell you... Pregnancy is GLAMOROUS. But, even with all of that, I'm ecstatic. My husband is overjoyed. And my step-son is.. There are no words to describe his excitement.

Say 'Thank You' to a Veteran

I'm not one for parades. In fact, that's quite the understatement. I really dislike parades. I hate standing in one spot and watching people walk by super slow. I hate the traffic that they cause. And for some reason, I've never attended a parade that wasn't during some freezing part of the day.

I just don't like parades.

But... when I found out my stepson would be marching in the Veteran's Day parade, I knew I had to go. Not just to support our veterans, but to support the great choice that my stepson has made.


As parents (and stepparent) we seem to have gotten a little bit of flack letting our son join the Young Marines. I can see how some people might be turned off by the initial idea of such an organization, but I can honestly say that it's been a positive thing in his life. He is learning leadership skills, discipline, team work, and respect for adults and his peers. They really push a "say no to drugs" policy, and are big on making the kids feel proud of themselves.


I digress. I'm proud of my stepson. I think he's making good choices in his life, and as long as he's not out there hurting himself or others, I will always support him. Because it's true. I love the little man. And I'm damn proud of him.

So, while my stepson was off fulfilling his duties as a young marine, I made sure to try to snap a few pictures of the great service men and women of my beautiful country. Unfortunately, due to the early morning and lack of coffee prior to leaving the house, I forgot my camera and was left taking pictures with my cell phone. Thank you technology.



And while I watched our veterans (and my stepson) march in the parade, I couldn't help but find myself enjoying myself. It's different when you're standing on the sidelines supporting your family, friends, and country.

So, to all the men and women who take the oath to protect my country and who go out there and make a difference in this world, no matter how grand or small... Thank you.

Feel Good Friday: Parents

My last post got me thinking about my parents. My dad was a gruff man with sage advise. His sense of humor was slightly twisted yet subtle.

My mother is a generous, caring, loving woman. She's hilarious and cunning.

Often times I think of the negative attributes that I've inherited from my parents. I have little to no patience with things. That's from Dad. I tend to let people walk all over me. Thanks Mom! I have my mother's mustache and my dad's weird hammer pinky toes. (Thankfully I don't have Dad's ears or Mom's big toe).

It's rare that I sit back and think about the positive impacts that my parents had on me. But clearly, they've done something right to make such an awesome person. Yeah. I'm truly awesome.

Dad gave me my artist abilities. Albeit few abilities... they're still there. Mom gave me her generous, empathetic heart. My thick, wavy hair is Dad's. (I wont be going bald anytime soon). And my big blue eyes are very much Mom's.

As I embark on the journey of (step) parenting, I find myself thinking "What would Mom/Dad do?" and usually picking what I think they would do. It's strange. I hated those rules and chores and being told to clean my room. But damned if I'm not saying the same shit now.

So... Here's to all the fantastic Mom's and Dad's out there... Remember to call and thank them for their hard work.

Holding Out

I've been trying to hold out on posting an update on pictures, but I simply can not wait any longer. haha.

I've been married for 10 days, and I gotta tell you. Not much is different. But so much is.

Makes no sense, right?

We're both back to work. We still live together. We lived together before we got married. Our house is still a wreck with wedding vomit. And we're still very much in love.

But I got a new ring. And I call him husband now.

And it's effing rad. I love being married. I love having a husband whom I cherish. And a new wonderful stepson that I can claim as my family (officially). I love it when people ask me, "So, how's married life?"

It's effing awesome. That's how it is.

Also, now that we're married and no longer planning a wedding... the crafting is officially open to whatever the hell I want to do. Good Riddance Wedding Planning!!!

Boundaries, Limits, and Boulders

I've had a few days to reflect on the past week and a half.

Yes. This past week and a half required 3 days to mule over and consider.

It's not that I thought step-parenting would be easy, or that this would be an easy transition. I just never imagined it would lead to so many hurt feelings. Confusion, yes. Anger, definitely. Obstinacy, absolutely. But hurt feelings where a grown woman and a 13 year old boy are in tears? I had no idea.

I suppose it's been 13 days since the soon-to-be-stepson arrived at our house. Everything seemed really great. We were both overjoyed to have him back in the house. Within an hour of being home, he asked to go to the park. No big deal. "Be back before it's dark".

And so it began: The fight for who and what my purpose is in my household.

I know that I'm the person who loves her fiance. I love my fiance's son. But...

I felt like I could make no rules or have them followed if I did. I've been "just a girlfriend" for so long. But with the wedding so close, my own confusion in my own role has been a major thing for me. Once I become a "wife", where do I stand? In every decision made in our household, I have been an equal partner and I know that once we are married, I will continue to remain an equal partner. In all areas, except one. The Kid.

Dark time hit and no kid. Soon-to-be-husband aka partner aka fiance aka the kids father was busy at the grill preparing a late dinner for us to enjoy. He asked me if I would go to the park to hunt down the kid. As I walked down to the park, my anxiety grew. Usually, he's pretty good at being on time, or if anything, just a few minutes short of us going to go look for him. I get down to the park and start to walk around. Anxiety growing, I start yelling his name. I walked around the park, through the park, and around again. I think to myself, "Maybe he took the other way around and is at home right now". I get annoyed that no one has called me to let me know he's at home safely.

I get back to the house and ask from the driveway into our backyard. "Is he home yet?!". He's not home. I walk over to his buddy's house. After a panicked wait, I find out he's been there for a while. He comes out and all I can say to him is that I'm beyond angry at him right now. He knows the rules. Check in when you change places. Let us know where you're at. My anxiety has turned to red hot anger. Relief was quickly replaced. This kid never had a chance.

The three of us come to an agreement. He's grounded from the park and will do all of his chores sans allowance. He's also grounded of his brand new toy, an air soft gun.

Saturday he had a commitment to fulfill and was gone all day. Sunday he did his chores and had his gun back. By Monday, I felt like the punishments put in place were all forgotten. His tone and attitude towards us deteriorates quickly through the weekend and week. By Wednesday, I'm so fed up with his attitude towards me, I'm having a hard time looking at him. I have no idea how to address this situation. I'm not his mom, and at this rate, I'm not going to be his friend either. Telling on him isn't getting me very far, and as I feel ignored and battered, my feelings get hurt. I'm not even sure which event it was that finally just pushed me over the edge, but there I was Wednesday evening, upstairs on my bed, sobbing.

The man had had enough and pulled the kid upstairs for a discussion that I wish would have happened earlier, because then maybe our week wouldn't have been totally ruined.

The Agreement: We're all equal in this. The man is comfortable with me having as much authority as he has. I'm comfortable with this. But most importantly, the kid is comfortable with this.

Obviously, I don't plan on walking around the house, acting like I'm the Queen of the Block. But it is nice for us all to know the boundaries. It was like once they were set, the kid knew how far he could push and never went over.

This whole step-parenting thing is new and different. Not just for me, but for everyone. It's hard to remember that. I'm the one becoming a step-parent, but I must remember I'm not alone in this process. We're all confused, sometimes we're angry, and we're definitely obstinate about a lot of things, but finding our boundaries and what our limits are will surely help us find our way.